The Things We (or maybe just I) Do

Guys. I just did this. I put my 6 month old in front of the tv so she would be happy. 

Do I feel like a bad mom? A little bit. I can hear my granny chastising that family who uses the tv as a babysitter. I can see the words of someone writing about that mom at the park on her phone. I just know that someone out there somewhere would not be impressed. 

And yes. I would much rather her be happy with some toys. Do believe me. But she is not.

So I pushed the guilt way deep down. Because I can't make her happy today unless I am holding her. whilst standing. Because I could barely get her to sleep in her bed at nap time, which she is usually a champ at. Because I'm up 3+ times a night with her. Because I'm tired. And because I just needed a few minutes to myself. To not be rocking a baby or, alternatively, listening to her cry.

So there she sits. In her exersaucer. Watching Disney Junior. Happy. 

To, my sweet grandmother whom I love. To, that onlooker at the park watching mom look at her phone because she spends all day everyday with her kids and the park entertains them for a moment without her. To, everyone everywhere who would never but their baby in front of the tv, who would rock them forever, who always pushes them on the swing, watching diligently, playing incessantly. I'm sorry. 

But I would do it again.  

And alas, the tv has lost it's entertainment value. Here I come sweet girl! Let us walk some more.